Exotica

In the Jellicle tribe, lived one of many queens. But this queen was... let's call it 'different'. Why? She hated each second of her jellicle life. Since the sun appeared on the morning, until the shinning stars appeared on the dark black sky. Her name was Exotica.
No one really cared about her, no one loved her. Just her family: her mother Charlotte, her father Astherious, her older sister Heithel, and her younger sister Luphix. Actually, Charlotte was the one who cared for Exotica the most.
Exotica had few firends if we can call them like that. There wasn't a sincerely friend for Exotica in that world.
Exotica liked to talk with the stars and the moon. They answered her questions, and replied her comments by her mind using Exoctica's own voice.
She knew she was different. She knew she didn't belong to the Jellicle tribe. She knew she wasn't supposed to be a cat. It was all wrong. She belonged to another world, life... and she was consious about it.
More than once she had asked herself why don't she just finished with her life. No one would miss her after all. Well, only Charlotte. But every time Exotica thought in that, the moon answered it would be surrendering. It would be coward. Exotica cryed many nights, when she was alone. No one could understand her point on view. They would think she was crazy. And she had also thought in that possibility, but something told her she wasn't crazy.
One of those nights, when she was crying, she thought *Why don't I go to the Heavy Side Layer and staert a new life where I belong?* Her idea was to go and leave everybody thinking she had never existed And that she could also forget them. That way no one would be hurt. Not even her family. Her two sisters were completely normal, as all the other kittens and queens (in the case of Heithel). Luphix was gentle with Exotica most of the time. But Heithel could never understand well Exotica. Heithel hadn't the necessairy of love at her. Luphix couldn't undestand her too. Astherious, her father was very similar to Exotica when he had her same age, but now he was an adult and had no time for her daughder. Charlotte was the nearest person to Exotica but,but not even she, had the enought time or way of thinking to understand a young queen like Exotica.
One of all those days she was talking with the moon and stars in her mind because it wasn't night yet, so they weren't on the sky, she was crying because she wanted to go where she really belonged. Then, the night arrived.
When her whole family was asleep, she stood with her friend, the moon. and they agreed that Exotica needed to be where she belonged. So the moon told her: "The best I can do is to make you this purpose. I'm not completely sure it will work but I'll do my best. The moment when you fell asleep will be your last moment here. The next morning you will born in another life. Neither your family nor you will remember anything about this life"
Exotica liked the idea a lot, but felt bad to leave her family. Even though knowing she wouldn't remember them. Finally, they agreed that Exotica had a week to say good bye to everybody. Immediatly then, she will be gone.
The next morning Exotica stared at Charlotte with wet eyes. "What are you thinking?" asked Charlotte.
"Mom, we never know when someone could be gone and our mind, for some reason, be forced to forget anything about that person" answered Exotica looking directly at Charlotte's eyes. Charlotte laughed softly.
"What do you mean, love? I can't understand you" she said to her daugher. In that moment Heithel arrived. She sat at the table where Exotica was too and started eating her breakfast.
"Heithel, do you think that it would be okay if someday I suddenly... disappeared, but appeared againg in another life without remembering anything?" she asked to her sister simulating everything she had said had just arrived to her mind as a wierd idea; nothing special. Heithel looked surprised at her younger sister before smiling a little.
"That's a very deep thought" she commented. "But no, I couldn't tell you if it's a good or bad thing. It all depends on what's he reason"
Charlotte went of at her daughers.
"Oh, I understand your idea, Exotica! You mean that if you go and born somewhere else... very far from us? Why would that happen?" asked Charlotte.
"Well, maybe... imaginig that I just wouldn't belong here... it's juat an example" replied Exotica simulating again that her question hadn't an intention and that it was the first time she had ever asked that to herself. And that wasn't true of course.
Charlotte smiled jokingly. "Are you really saying you don't belong to this world?"
Exotica simulated a laugh. Her mother had not fell in Exotica's 'tramp'. "Then, what 'would' you say about my idea?" asked Exotica remaking the word 'would'.
"I would think you need a doctor" answered Charlotte.
"But let's supose that I really wouldn't belong here... I should go to be happy, don't I?"
"But then I wouldn't have any power over my own life. Over the people I love. The would just go whenever they want, but they would be hurting ME" pointed Charlotte sitting on her chair. Heithel just stood up and walked away when she finished her breakfast. And Luphix had arrived few minutes ago: she was playing with her little teddy bear. Then of some minutes of silence, Charlotte stood up and continued cooking. Charlotte's last comment left Exotica thinking. She felt sad and for that moment her eyes couldn't resist anymore and tears started falling. Exotica cleaned them fastly, and turned her face away where no one could see her tears. "What if my mother doesn't let me go with her thoughts?" asked Exotica to the moon in her mind that afternoon.
"That could be probable. But if she loves you and knows what's the best for you, she'll let you go without any problem. It is hard, I know, but it's your only choice and soon it will be her only choice o let you go too." answered the moon wisely.
"And how is she going to know what's he best for me?" asked brown queen.
"Well, I will try to tell her in her own dreams that she has to let you go if that's what you need. But if I can't, you'll have to tell her in some way"
"Oh, yes. Thank you"
"Remember that you only have one week to say good bye to all the persons (cats) that you want to"
The next day, Exotica went out of her house. There was all the tribe. They all belonged there. She didn't.
The first cats she saw were the dark twins: Tantomile and Coricopat. Tantomile was gentel and very sismilar to Exotica, but she wasn't as alone as Exotica was. Tantomile had a brother and powers to share with him. They were jellicles. "Hey! I wish you two to be happy forever. Good bye" said Exotica to the twins. They smiled. They knew what does Exotica refered when she said "good bye". They knew what was she thinking. After all they had powers. "Good bye" answered both in choir.
Then, she saw Munkustrap and Demeter. Munkustrap was brave, the protector of the tribe. And Demeter... well, she had her sister, Bombalurina and Munkustrap her mate. They were happy in the junkyard. They were jellicles.
"Munkustrap, Demeter!" called Exotica. Munkus and Demy went off at her. "Hello" they said.
"Hello, I hope you can always be happy together. Good bye" she said.
The pair looked her in a cofused way. "Thank you" said Demeter.
Exotica smiled. Then, she heard a noice... Electra and Etcetera were playing and running happily. Yes, they were jellicles too.
"Kittens, how are you?" asked Exotica softly.
"Are you talking to us?" asked Electra shyly.
"Yes"
"Of course she is talking o us, 'Lectra!" whispered Etcy to Electra.
"We're good... just playing, Exotica!" answered Electra grinning.
"Good... you're young, but happy... right? Then be happy forever. You do belong here. Good bye"
The kittens looked at each other like asking *what did she mean with 'you DO belong here?'*
"Yeah! We're happy, and will always be!" said finally Etcetera.
"Good bye" said the kittens taking Exotica's 'good bye' as a simple phrase.
The tall, brown chocolate queen walked slowly until she saw the two thieves of the tribe: Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer. They were happy with each other... they were jelicles.
"Mungojerrie, Rumpelteazer! What are you doing?" she asked.
"Wha'cha we doing? Uh... tha same we a'ways do: Steal!" said Mungojerrie.
"Look, Exotica. I've got some new perls!" said Rumpel proudly.
"I'm glad, Teazer! Well, I must go now... good bye!" said Exotica walking away.
"Bye to ya!" shouted the cats at the same time.
Blue sparkles were shinning in the corner of the junkyard. Exotica walked at them to see what was that. She found the magician. He was usually a quiet cat, but sometimes he was very playful. Jemima was with him. Jemima loved him and he loved her, they were mates. They both belonged there, they were jellicles.
"Hi?" asked Exotica.
"Hello!" answered Jemima.
"What are you doing?"
"We were just--" said Mistoffelees being cut.
"Misto was telling me about something REALLY FUNNY!" exclaimed Jemima.
"What?" asked Exotica with curiosity.
"I--" said Misto being cut again by his own mate.
"Stupid things he had done with Pouncival when they were younger!" laughed Jemima.
"JEMIMA!" shouted Mistoffelees.
"Wh-what?" asked Jemima innocently.
"Nothing..." sighed Mistoffelees "'nothing', Jemima". Exotica smiled at them.
"Well, live your life, you are lucky. Good bye" said Exotica leaving behind the pair.
"Thank you, Exotica. I know I am lucky" said Mistoffelees looking at Jemima and taking her paw. As Tantomile and Coricopat, Mistoffelees knew what was Exotica refering. He could read and understand her mind. So he made a present, a magical one, for her, as a last present. He clapped, closed the eyes, and white powder strated appearing in Exotica's paws. She looked down at them surprised. When the powder went away, a photo of the whole jellicle tribe appeared enmaked in pure white wood. It was a beautiful Mistoffelees' gift.. Exotica smiled, her eyes got wet again and she looked back at the tuxedo cat. He smiled at her. Exotica thanked him with her eyes and inside her mind, after all he could read her mind, and she knew that. Then, she continued walking. Happier. She found the white dancer and her mate, Plato.
"Victoria, Plato. Hello!" said Exotica.
"Hi" they answered.
"Are you really happy?" asked Exotica.
"Yes, very happy. More each day" answered Plato hugging Vicky.
"And you, Exotica... are you happy here?" asked Victoria.
Exotica looked sadly at the floor and then at Victoria's eyes. Victoria could understand the answer.
"Oh, I see..." whispered the white queen. "I'm so sorry"
"Don't worry. Everything will get better very soon" replied Exotica smiling again. "Good bye. Be happy all your lives"
"Sure" answered Plato. They hugged Exotica, and then, she walked away.
That night, Exotica talked to her mother trying to let her understand that she should let her go. She explained her mother that, but in some way that she didn't completely said she would go, but she knew Charlotte suspected something and was worried for it. Then of talking to much, Charlotte asked Exotica something. "And why are you asking all this?"
Exotica wanred to answer, that she asked that to feel free that she could go in peace to the Heavy Side Layer; that Charlotte would be okay, and could let Exotica go if that was what she needed to be happy. But Exotica couldn't explain, when she opened her mouth and waied voice to come out, it didn't. Charlotte urned off the light, gave Exotica a kiss and, before going, she went off.
"But don't wory. You aren't going... because I don't want it" wih this, Charlotte left the room. Exotica closed her eyes, trying to avoid tears that were coming out from them. Charlotte would never understand Exotica's possition. She had o go and Charlote won't let her free in er lifetime. She had no idea what a bad thing she was making her daugher.
*Mom, if you just could know...* thought Exotica between her tears. *Wait, I'm missing to say good bye o my family... that... just if I go someday.* Luphix ad Heihel were sleeping. Until this momen, he moon hadn't arrived yet and there were just few stars.
Days passed.
The Sun arrived again, Exotica made a leter for Asterious and another for Charlotte. Telling them she loved them over everything... evn over death. In Charlotte's letter, Exotica told her that they would never know when someone could leave (die).
Exotica left he letters on her parents' bed and went to he kitchen for some water. There, she thought again that she did want to go, she felt bad there. It wasn' her rue 'home'. Then, she returned to her room. Asterious followed her.
"Exotica, thank you for he letter. It's the niciest letter I've evn receibed. You're such a... good feeling person." he said.
"You're welcome, daddy!" answered Exotica happy that her father had liked the letter.
"Thank you for... for being my daughder. I'm very honored"
They hugged each other. Then, Asterious returned to his room and minutes after, Charlotte arrived.
"Mom... are you crying?" asked Exotica.
"Your letter made me cry" said Charlotte cleaing her tears.
"What? I didn't mean to..."
"I was thinking about I wasn't he moher you'd like o have"
"NO! I just..." Exotica felt tears were going to take heir part in that moment.
"Exotica... don't cry please"
"I thought you would like my letter" whispered Exotica.
"I did like it! I hought that I wouldn't sleep tonoght. But thanks your letter, I will sleep all the night. " said the older queen.
"Really? I'm glad" replied Exotica ith a soft smile on her face.
"But there's something I'm worried about. Here," pointed Charlotte "you're saying that we never know when someone is leaving. Why do you think that? You're young and you aren' going to die. You've been behaving very... differen hese days, and I'm worried about you"
"Not necessaire for age, mom. It could be... an accident"
"What? Are you having any premonition about it?" asked Exotica's mother worried. The true answer wasn't going to draw a smile on Charlote's face and Exotica knew it. She stood silent for a moment.
"No, of couse I don't, mommy" said Exoica softly. Her moher sighed in belief.
"That's beter... thank you" said the older queen. "Anyway, I think we'll find each oher on our next life, you know... after death"
"You're welcome"
"Exotica, you are he only reason that makes me stay in his life. You make me strong. Without you, I don't know what would I..." ryued o explain Charlotte. Exotica knew that Charlotte, for some reason, had a preference on her than on her sisters. Exotica cryed in her inside. She really planned to go forever the night of the next day.
"But you will stay" said finally Charlotte. She wished Exotica good night and returned with Asterious.
*Oh my God! Now I am not so sure that I want to go! I can't leave my mother... she needs me! I can't be so unthankful with the woman that has done everything for me!* thought confused the dark chocolate queen. Would it be unfair to go?
*What should I do? I just o wait until Monday arrives. If I awake here that day and remember everything... it means that my time to go isn' now* she thought. *And if not... let's wonder what would happen...*
It was Sunday in the morning. Exotica woke up and saw her younger sister, Luphix, who slep in her same room. She was already waken up.
"Good morning, Luphix!" said Exotica. She didn't use to do that never.
"Hi, Exotica" answered Luphix a little stranged. They played together for some time. That could be their last time together. The day passed quickly. It was night again, she was so happy. But, would she awake the next morning? For that moment she was so confused that she didn't know what she reallt prefered. There was only one thing to do: Wait and hope the best thing for her to happen. She left her prblems and life on God's hands.
She entered to her bed and tryed to sleep. Then, she thought. *If I awake tomorrow it's because that's the best for me... or because it was impossible to me to disappear and I got crazy! Disappearing it's Mistoffelees' thing.* thought Exotica sadly and angryly at the same time. It was her worse fear. That nothing had happened, it was just her imagintion and she was so crazy that she thought she could go. It was just an option, she could also awake the next day in a new life, or she could awake there, because she was crazy thinking she could go, or because it wasn't her time to go. Each option had the same posibilities. Worrying wasn't a good option. The queen cryed horrorizied that she could be crazy. *I just left to hope, as I said before... to hope it's the worst thing I've ever done.* She had to rest and forget her thoughts.. What would happen the next morning, would happen anyway.
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Disappointment, sadness... that was what Exotica exactly felt when sighing... breathing... awaking... she was still a cat.
"Wake up, Exotica" said Charlotte entering to her room and moving Exotica from one side to he other in t her bed.
She woke up immediatly and tryed to don't cry in from on he present cats (Charlotte and Luphix). When they exited the room, Exotica just felt two tears going down her cheeks, she cloed her eyes, and tryed to understand what she had done wrong.
The day continued as always. Exoica didn't want to speak to anyone. She was kinda depressed.
"Would you mind if I take you with a psychologist?" asked her mother.
"A psychologist? Why?" asked Exotica silently.
"Put in my place. What would you feel if you see that your daughder is sad every second of her ife? It's not very nice, Exotica"
"You are always sad" commented Luphix. Exotica gave had an angry look.
"Well, okay... if you think that it will help..." accepted Exotica looking down.
For that night, Exotica wasnt as bad as in the morning. She had cleared her thoughs.
*Well everything has it's place and moment o be done. Maybe this just wasn't my time to go where I really belong. I've to wait and be patient* she thought. *Or maybe it was that my mother didn't let me go! If it was her blame?* asked Exotica to herself. *I hope i wasn't her blame*.
Charlotte made a date with the psychologist to her daughder. The psychologist was a girl and her name was 'Denisse'.
"Exoica, a queen was asking for you over there" said Cassandra.
"For me? Where exactly?" asked the chocolate queen.
"Well, next to Demeter's and Munkustrap's house, I guess"
"Okay.Thank you" said Exotica walking to he psychologist's house.
"Hello, Exotica" she said gently. She stood up and closed the door. "Please sit here"
"Hello, thank you" answered Exoica. She really didn't believe i would help in any way, but she did it for Charlotte.
First, Denisse asked Exotica to make some drawings of her family, persons, a house, a tree, and a person under the rain. Then she answered some questions, and that wa all. She returned to her home.
"Hi, how are you?" asked Charlotte.
"Good. I went with Denisse, the psychologist"
"Really? And what?"
"Well, she told me to draw somethings and to answer a wierd paper with strange phrases that I was supposed to finish with the first thing that came to my mind. That was all" concluded Exotica.
"How is the psychologist, Exotica" asked Luphix.
"She's wierd but kind" responded Exotica. Charlotte laughed softly.
Days passed and passed. Exotica took over her depression.Today she's still a cat and it's waiting for the Heavi Side Layer to decide her time to go. She velieves, she knows, that she'll go just when she has to. So if anyway, she'll go someday, she'll enjoy and live every second of her life he best she can. She'll give each thing the importance it deserves. She'll try to be happy. And we all should follow her.
So, my best wishes to Exotica. Because as she said we never know when it's out time to go. Remember: everything, absolutely everything that happens in your life has a reason and an important effect in you and in the ones that surround you. Be careful in whatever you do and say, it can seem little and silly to you, but maybe not to other people.