Tugger’s eyes moved up to meet Munkustrap’s. They stared deeply as if trying to encode each other’s thoughts. Perhaps, that was what they were doing. The stare was intimate and soft. They were closer than brothers, closer than lovers. They were soul mates. They’d realized this when they’d had a long talk one evening. It seemed so long ago, but was really only several months.

 

They had been sitting together, in the Junkyard after everyone had gone to their dens to sleep.  They didn’t know why they were there together, they just were. They started talking, discussing the economy of the Junkyard, their lives, themselves. It was ‘the-talk’ that most lovers find themselves waiting for; that night you stay up to the dawn talking to that special someone. They didn’t realize what was going on until their lips met and they realized without words, they were made for the other.

 

Once the gaze was broken, and Tugger nuzzled closer into Munkustrap’s chest with a soft purr. He closed his eyes, their golden glow disappearing in the faint light. The sky was blue, the kind of blue you see just as the sun disappears. There was nothing more Munkustrap could ask for than to stay like this forever. Stay in Tugger’s arms, sharing intimate moments like this. He watched bits of  fluff from dandelions dance around in the gentle breeze. His father, now deceased, had always told him if he could catch one in his hand he could make a wish on it.

 

He reached up, trying his best not to disrupt Tugger’s light slumber. He caught a piece between his fingers and settled back down. He stared at the piece between his fingers, thinking about it. He closed his eyes, smiled and let the breeze take hold of it. It fluttered away out of sight.

 

Tugger ‘s eyes opened, a golden glow reflecting off what little light there was. He had noticed Munkustrap catch a fluff in the air, and wondered what he’d wished. He brought his hand up and rested it against Munkustrap’s chest, feeling his heartbeat. “What did you wish for?” He asked softly.

 

“To stay like this forever.”

 

The Junkyard was loud today. This area was usually busy of course, but it had never been quite this chaotic to see. The centre, usually clear, was now filled with Jellicles. It was not the ball, but a different celebration. Today, they celebrated the creation of the tribe. Many years ago, this was the day Old Deuteronomy, known as Deuteronomy back then, created this tribe. He had realized how bad the stray cat population was getting in London, and to help give them a home, he took control of the Junkyard and the tribe quickly formed. Several cats such as Skimbleshanks, Asparagus, Jennyanydots and Gus still were with our tribe. Jenny however had been an adolescent at the time. The tribe was still young, but new cats came through here constantly.

 

A dance had begun, a familiar one to a quick rhythm. Munkustrap was not one to dance, he’d rather stand off to the side and applaud those who did. Normally he’d be telling stories of the tribe, but Old Deuteronomy had insisted he tell them tonight. He did after all start this tribe, and he knew details about the story Munkustrap did not.

 

Munkustrap felt a hand land on his shoulder. It was a soft touch, warm and welcoming. He turned slightly to see Old Deuteronomy smiling at him. His features were so friendly and he was so loving. Munkustrap couldn’t get over it. “You seem troubled.” he said softly, “Why aren’t you dancing with the other’s? You know how important this night is to all of us.”

 

“Troubled?” Munkustrap looked at him slightly shocked. “I’m not troubled. I just don’t dance, you know that.” he answered him respectably. Everyone knew that Munkustrap was not one for dancing, and Munkustrap didn’t think he was feeling troubled. Was he?

 

“You’re eyes,” Old Deuteronomy stared at him, concentrating, “They tell me you are in distress.”

 

“But I’m not.” Munkustrap insisted. “I’m perfectly happy.”

 

“You don’t need to lie to me Munkustrap.” He reassured him with a fatherly pat on  the back, “You can talk to me, when you are ready that is. I won’t force it out of you.”

 

Munkustrap couldn’t help but give him a confused and offended look. “I am fine.” He insisted further. How could Deuteronomy assume he was troubled and unhappy? Really. Munkustrap turned and stared away from his leader, watching the others dance. He caught a glimpse of his lover, dancing ever so gracefully. It made Munkustrap melt a little. He would dance for Tugger, if Tugger wanted him to.

 

Seeing Tugger dance to something other than his own song was quite entertaining. He really was gifted with dance, he knew how to speak through his body. Munkustrap knew that better than anyone.

“When you are ready.” Old Deuteronomy added as he strolled away to the other cats sitting off to the side to rest, relax or simply sit off to the side.

 

Munkustrap watched him, with a concerned look. Old Deuteronomy knew something that he wasn’t mentioning. Perhaps he knew Munkustrap had no interest in queens. Maybe he knew. Knew about Tugger. Hopefully not, that was a secret he and Tugger were to keep. He averred his gaze back to the dancers.

 

Tugger had disappeared from the crowd of dancers. Munkustrap stood up slightly searching for him. He finally found him sitting with Etcetera. He tickled her under the chin and she squealed with delight. She jumped up and twirled around excitedly and pounced back into his lap. She nuzzled against his furry mane and me smiled amused.

 

A part of Munkustrap died. He knew Tugger was acting, pretending he enjoyed Etcetera’s attention. He had told Munkustrap he did not find her antics amusing at all. He’d rather a monkey dance around him throwing it’s own feces into the air. This had made Munkustrap feel a little bit about it before, but Tugger’s acting was becoming more and more believable. It made his heart break a little more every time. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it. His heart could only handle so much.

 

Tugger and Etcetera stood up and he held her hand as she twirled. He just watched her, not really noticing Munkustrap’s saddened eyes watching his movements. He and Etcetera began to walk. He had his lean arm draped over her small shoulders and was talking to her, wearing that smile Munkustrap loved so much.

 

Casually standing up, Munkustrap jumped off of the steps of the tire and walked in the opposite direction. He felt himself giving into the tears that wanted to stream down his cheeks. He nipped at his lip a bit as he walked passed several of the cats, hoping to the Heaviside no one noticed his distress. Old Deuteronomy would no doubt, and so he avoided going anywhere near him.

 

Once alone, Munkustrap cried. He cried for his lover and the love he no longer felt existed between them. He felt slightly betrayed but tried to remind himself that it was merely an act to fool everyone else. Just so no one would catch on to their charade. He fell down against the ground, laying so he was on his stomach. He formed fists and pounded against the ground repeating, “He doesn’t love her! He doesn’t love her!” It only reminded him more of how much pain he was forced to endure day to day because of their secret love-life.